I’ve finally gotten around to formalizing my Unified Theory of Bacon.
I welcome observations from the community. As a man of science, I accept that my theory may be flawed, as it does not consider the possibility that another food unimproved by bacon may in fact be present when observing quantum particles…. mmm… Schrödinger’s Bacon… I digress. Here is the theory.
I. Every food product perseveres in its state of being delicious or of not being delicious, except insofar as it is compelled to change its state by bacon impressed.
II. The rate of change of deliciousness of a food product is proportional to the resultant bacon acting on the food and is in the same direction as the bacon vector.
III. When the food product acted upon by bacon is of cheese persuasion, the deliciousness of the acting bacon force is increased with a rate of change proportional to the cheese force.
Therefore, all food products’ deliciousness is increased by the addition of bacon, except for cheese which in turn increases the deliciousness of bacon.
Additionally, it can be said that the whole of combined bacon and cheese products is in fact greater than the sum of the parts by a power of 2. Or b + c = bc2